The [Not So] Brave New World of Dating

It’s common knowledge that dating in your twenties is complicated. Throw in dating in a metropolitan area and the plethora of apps and online platforms at our disposal, and romance has become a whole new animal. As a single woman navigating this new love frontier, I’ve had my own fair share of mishaps and unrequited love sagas, but every now and then something refreshing and enlightening happens.

But first, let’s take a moment to reflect on the more unfortunate casualties of my dating life, such as the aspiring fashion designer who enjoyed looking at his food more than eating it, or the guy who got so drunk that I was able to convince him that the new stain on his white bathroom carpet was from his own vomit and not the liquid face makeup that I spilled. Oops.

These kinds of experiences could happen online or offline but they don’t even brush the tip of the iceberg that is the swiping era of today. Like the guy who exchanged maybe 5 messages with me before saying something inappropriate and thus leading to my blocking him. Blocking is one of the things I do like about the digital dating age, but little did I know this minor action would result in a 9-month-long mild stalking situation. Dreamy right?

Then of course, there’s the more common cases of “ghosting” and “bread-crumbing”, two habits I’ve been on both the giving and receiving ends. The issue here, however, lies in the lack of accountability that this new era of dating holds; accountability being a crucial element that has driven human interaction and altruistic behavior since the beginning of time. Without the guarantee of seeing someone again, it’s super easy to just drift in and out of people’s lives with little to no consequences. And that makes us shitty people.

This kind of behavior runs rampant among people of my age demographic and guess what, folks? IT DOESN’T WORK. It's so easy to get into the habit of playing the “who cares less” game, but where’s the fun in playing a game that has no winner? Rather, we should choose to be honest about how we feel, good or bad . Clarity and transparency will always win, even if at times you don’t get the response you’re looking for. At the end of the day, everyone deserves to know where they stand. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m still single here, but for the first time in my life, it’s completely up to me and I’m comfortable with it.

#dating #relationships #love #personal